But…You’re Single

Demilade Olafisoye
2 min readNov 1, 2020

By Demilade Olafisoye

It is like a question mark on your head.

The everlasting comma; not that deep you say?

I once had a friend who wanted to rent an apartment in Lagos, Nigeria. She started her house hunting and lo and behold, landlords refused to rent out to her for one reason: she was a single young woman. Picture what their reasons must have been, I am sure you can.

It is so funny how even advanced countries are not exempt from this form if thinking. A statement in an article I read used Beyoncé’s classic “ Single Ladies” song to show this:

…it is all about single ladies who are single because the man has chickened out, hasn’t “put a ring on it.” Now he is faced with seeing Beyoncé or some other single lady in the club later on with another guy, and there’s regret and sadness. She is basically announcing to him, “You had your chance, you should have given me a ring; now I have someone else”

Beyonce’s Single ladies… this celebration of singleness is about how one day you’re going to be strong enough and grown up enough to get married.

Wow.

Are singles really just in people waiting to be made legitimate by marriage? I think not.

Marriage is beautiful and a wonderful union when done well. However, if we will keep making singles feel like they are outside an exclusive club with benefits that they can’t access — we must also be ready to live in a world where marriages break like biscuits because the only thing couples share is the pressure to get into a marital relationship.

We must be ready.

Have you read my book, 100 Adventures to Enjoy in Singlehood, yet?

Oh boy! If you haven’t, you’re missing out on an adventurous singlehood journey. Get it here and learn how to enjoy this phase, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

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