If Single and Broke Was a Person…
By Toyosi Adegunle
I want to relax and be taken kiaruf but I also want to spoil someone’s son silly. I also don’t think I should be in a relationship just yet because I don’t have enough money, but how much money is enough to date again?
Heck! How would I even know when I’m rich enough to start dating someone?
This you? Yeah? Thank goodness! I thought it was just me. Being single is one thing, being broke is another thing, then being broke and single is one hell of a thing. I’ve been both of them at the same time and it slowly grew from wanting to be able to take care of my partner to not being worthy to date someone.
I met someone who almost had everything in his life figured out — finances, career, everything trust me. Omo! I felt undeserving of him. I would jokingly tell my friend that my finance is learning work near him and I probably can’t even match up to him anytime soon. Damn!
That was a very toxic mindset that I killed with three questions — ’T, is money the only thing you have to offer?’ ’Does it have to be about how much money you have right now?’ and finally ’Are you normal?’ (In Mr Macaroni’s voice). Why would I even think I’m undeserving of someone because I don’t have as much as they do or as much as I think I should have. A whole spec like me.
Money is good. Scratch that, money is great and you are not overreacting if you think you need money before going into a relationship. It’s a very valid stance but you will be doing a great disservice to yourself if you don’t deal with the potential psychological effects of this stance.
When will you ever be ready? You may not even be broke, but you’ll never be ready to date because you think you are not enough or your money is not enough. Being broke is not an exciting experience at all and it’s bad enough that you are broke, but it is worse when you let it affect your self-esteem and self-worth.
When you truly love someone and you’re ready to go down the dating lane with them, how much they have will not really matter to you because there are other great things to focus on in your partner — do they make you happy?
Do they have a good prospect? Is he or she working towards having money that will never let them be broke again? Do you love them? Do they have sense? Do you guys vibe on a very deep level?
Consider the other very beautiful things before condemning yourself and denying yourself a beautiful experience because you don’t have enough money.
When you’re single and broke:
● Never think you’re not enough
● It’s not always about the money
● You won’t be broke forever — know this and know peace.
● Work hard and work smart
● Be grateful for what you have and look forward to more
You’re only single and broke, no be die.
Oya, cheers! 🥂
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